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Defector

<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

TAMPA, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 07: Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers hoists the Vince Lombardi Trophy after winning Super Bowl LV at Raymond James Stadium on February 07, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. The Buccaneers defeated the Chiefs 31-9. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

Tom Brady Is Just Fucking Impossible

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI - JANUARY 24: Josh Allen #17 of the Buffalo Bills is tackled by Bashaud Breeland #21 of the Kansas City Chiefs in the third quarter during the AFC Championship game at Arrowhead Stadium on January 24, 2021 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

Please Fuck Me Up With DB Blitzes

TAMPA, FLORIDA - JANUARY 31: An aerial view of Raymond James Stadium ahead of Super Bowl LV on January 31, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

Jamboroo

Life Is Measured In Super Bowls

YAKIMA, WA - DECEMBER 28: A double cheeseburger, fries and soda lie on a table at Majors Hamburgers December 28, 2003 in Yakima, Washington. Two farms have been quarantined in Sunnyside and Mabton, Washington by the U.S.D.A after it was determined that a cow that came from the farms had been infected with mad cow disease, the first such case in the U.S. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Funbag

I Love Basic Shit!

“I Was Down $3,000 And Felt A Fart Coming On.” YOUR SUPER BOWL POOPOROO!

A Guatemalan woman touches a map of the United States at the Casa del Refugiado, or The House of Refugee, a new centre opened by the Annunciation House to help the large flow of migrants being released by the United States Border Patrol and Immigration and Customs Enforcement in El Paso, Texas on April 24, 2019. - The 125,000 foot space will accomodate about 500 migrants, with plans to expand for up to 1,500. While this is larger then other centres in the El Paso area, Father Ruben Garcia the director of Annunciation house says that they will still rely on churches around the community for help housing migrants. According to the CBP, border patrol agents apprehended 92,607 people along the southwest border in March, up from 66,884 in February. US President Donald Trump, who has made immigration the core of his message to his conservative base, said on Twitter that "a very big Caravan of over 20,000 people" is making its way through Mexico toward the United States. (Photo by Paul Ratje / AFP) (Photo credit should read PAUL RATJE/AFP via Getty Images)

Which Is America’s Least-Hated State?

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA - JANUARY 17: Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers celebrates a first down against the New Orleans Saints late in the fourth quarter in the NFC Divisional Playoff game at Mercedes Benz Superdome on January 17, 2021 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Ego Works

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JUNE 20: NBA Commissioner Adam Silver prepares to announce the third overall pick by the New York Knicks during the 2019 NBA Draft at the Barclays Center on June 20, 2019 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images)

The NBA Draft Lottery Is Garbage

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK - DECEMBER 13: Head coach Mike Tomlin of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on before the game against the Buffalo Bills at Bills Stadium on December 13, 2020 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Bryan M. Bennett/Getty Images)

I Can’t Believe I’m Saying This, But NFL Coaches Are Better Than Ever

Dan Le Batard Was One Of The Last Good Things At ESPN

DETROIT, MI - JANUARY 03: Kirk Cousins #8 of the Minnesota Vikings looks on in the first quarter of the game against the Detroit Lions at Ford Field on January 3, 2021 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Rey Del Rio/Getty Images)

You Truly Are What Your Record Says You Are

FAIRFAX, CA - FEBRUARY 06: In this photo illustration, The Monopoly iron game piece is displayed on February 6, 2013 in Fairfax, California. Toy maker Hasbro, Inc. announced today that fans of the board game Monopoly voted in an online contest to eliminate the iron playing figure and replace it with a cat figure. The cat game piece received 31 percent of the online votes to beat out four other contenders, a robot, diamond ring, helicopter and guitar. (Photo illustration by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Underexplained Lists

Monopoly Chance And Community Chest Cards, Ranked

The Seven Types Of Shitty NFL Coach

The Internet Can Belong To You Again

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at the MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre on October 24, 2016 in Naples, Florida.

A Quick List Of Stuff Donald Trump Has Ruined

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK - DECEMBER 13: Ben Roethlisberger #7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers enters the field before the game against the Buffalo Bills at Bills Stadium on December 13, 2020 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Bryan M. Bennett/Getty Images)

The Old Guard Of Quarterbacks Needs To Go Away

Hater's Guide

The 2020 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

Custom official destroys seized bottles of liquor, previously smuggled into Pakistan during an ceremony organized by customs to destroy seized alcohol and drugs smuggled into Pakistan, on the outskirts of Quetta on December 15, 2020.   (Photo by Banaras KHAN / AFP) (Photo by BANARAS KHAN/AFP via Getty Images)

There’s No “Best” Time To Quit Drinking

NEW HAVEN, CT - NOVEMBER 18: Deonte Henson #21 of the Yale Bulldogs is congratulated by teammates after making an interception in teh fourth quarter of a game against the Harvard Crimson at the Yale Bowl on November 18, 2017 in New Haven, Connecticut. (Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images)

Let’s Break Down Yale Football’s Hilariously Shitty Hype Video

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - DECEMBER 06: Dan Bailey #5 of the Minnesota Vikings kicked the game winning field goal to give the Vikings the 27-24 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars in overtime at U.S. Bank Stadium on December 06, 2020 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)

It’s Time For Yet Another PAT Fix, But This One Is Good, I Swear

DETROIT, MICHIGAN - NOVEMBER 26: Matthew Stafford #9 of the Detroit Lions leaves the field following a game against the Houston Texans at Ford Field on November 26, 2020 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Nic Antaya/Getty Images)

A Requiem For Matthew Stafford

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA - SEPTEMBER 27: Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers prepares to snap the ball against the New Orleans Saints during the first half at Mercedes-Benz Superdome on September 27, 2020 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images)

Which Quarterback Has The Coolest Cadence At The Line?

&lt;&gt; on November 24, 2016 in Stamford, Connecticut.

I Am Fucking PUMPED For The Holidays At Home

SEATTLE, WA - FEBRUARY 26: Cheese is displayed for sale at Amazon Go Grocery on February 26, 2020 in Seattle, Washington. The store in Seattles Capitol Hill neighborhood is Amazons first large retail grocery location that uses the cashier-free model. (Photo by David Ryder/Getty Images)

An Ode To Shredded Cheese

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - JUNE 17: Linebacker Kyle Wilber (L) and safety Erik Harris of the Las Vegas Raiders work out in a park on June 17, 2020 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Training camp for all NFL teams is scheduled to start on July 28, depending on complications from the coronavirus pandemic. The Raiders plan on hosting their camp in the team's Headquarters/Intermountain Healthcare Performance Center that is nearing completion in Henderson, Nevada, this summer, instead of in Napa, California, amid the continuing spread of COVID-19. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)