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Chris Thompson

Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, and Trae Young watch the ball.

The Sixers Can’t Get Away With Both Of These Guys Sucking

Cameron Payne in a Suns jersey, looking happy.

Cameron Payne Worked Hard To Arrive At The Point Of Nikola Jokic’s Surrender

P.J. Tucker warns the moron bodyguard who rushed him on the court during Game 3.

Kevin Durant’s Idiot Bodyguard Rushed The Court To Protect Him From P.J. Tucker

Jake Fraley leaps to rob a walk-off home run.

10 Uninterrupted Minutes Of FRAYHAYLAYYYYY, Sure

Science

Is Lightning A Fraud? Sadly, Yes [Update]

Ronald Acuña Jr. crushes a ball to the moon.

Dinger Beauty Is A Joy Forever

Chris Paul runs past Facundo Campazzo in a playoff game.

God Help Me, I’ve Been Charmed By Chris Paul

Animals

Please, Brood X Cicadas, I Beg You, Shut The Fuck Up

Kristaps Porzingis shoots warmup jumpers prior to the start of Game 7 against the Clippers.

Kristaps Porzingis Came Up Short

Terrifying New Record Achieved In Humanity’s Quest To Manufacture A Literal Star

Andre Drummond May Not Have Been The Solution After All

A shell-shocked Carlos Martinez hands the ball to manager Mike Shildt after registering just two outs.

Cardinals Pitcher Carlos Martinez Takes An All-Time Ass-Whupping

Stephen Strasburg looks bummed as he leaves the field following another injury.

More Like Stephen Hamburger

Devin Booker looks at Chris Haynes as Haynes asks his insanely stupid question.

Here Is A Super Incredibly Dumb Post-Game Question, Courtesy Of NBA Insider Chris Haynes

Chefector

Today’s Cocktail Is The Bloody Crusta

The Knicks Look Like Crud

MIAMI, FLORIDA - MAY 27: Giannis Antetokounmpo #34 of the Milwaukee Bucks drives to the basket against Jimmy Butler #22 of the Miami Heat during the third quarter in Game Three of the Eastern Conference first-round playoff series at American Airlines Arena on May 27, 2021 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)

The Bucks Didn’t Conquer The Giannis Wall, And Didn’t Have To

Boston Celtics general manager Danny Ainge, in happier times.

Danny Ainge Puts A Foot In His Big Fat Mouth

Mike Shildt argues with Joe West while Giovanny Gallegos shows off the offending hat.

Cardinals Manager Mike Shildt Calls Bullshit On MLB’s Handling Of Foreign Substances

Patrick Beverley looks bummed after committing a foul.

Bask In The Delights Of Patrick Beverley’s Miserable Evening

Trae Young beats Frank Ntilikina for the deciding bucket.

A Timely Nudge And A Lost Shoe Helped Trae Young Author A Classic Finish

Today’s Cocktail Is The Bee Sting

A tardigrade looks pleadingly at the camera.

Leave Tardigrades Alone!

Let’s Appreciate Some Randos Who Smushed The Hornets Flat As A Pancake

The Celtics and Pacers play basketball, poorly.