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Billy Haisley

Hiving Lozano #22 of Mexico celebrates a goal against Peru in the second half at Rose Bowl Stadium on September 24, 2022 in Pasadena, California.

Internationals

Mexico Is Going Nowhere

Ali Albulayhi of Saudi Arabia reacts during the international friendly match between Saudi Arabia and Colombia at Estadio Enrique Roca on June 05, 2022 in Murcia, Spain.

Soccer

Saudi Arabia’s Coach Is Hunky But Its Team Is Junky

Wales' striker Gareth Bale celebrates after winning the FIFA World Cup 2022 play-off final qualifier football match between Wales and Ukraine at the Cardiff City Stadium in Cardiff, south Wales, on June 5, 2022.

This World Cup Is Wales’s Last Hurrah With Gareth Bale

Fans celebrate the tying goal scored by Enner Valencia of Ecuador during the FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 qualification match between Ecuador and Argentina at Estadio Monumental on March 29, 2022 in Guayaquil, Ecuador.

Ecuador’s Bright World Cup Future Starts Now

Dwight McNeil of Everton celebrates with teammate Alex Iwobi after scoring their team's third goal during the Premier League match between Everton FC and Crystal Palace at Goodison Park on October 22, 2022 in Liverpool, England.

All Of Everton’s Paths To Success Run Through Alex Iwobi

Thibaut Courtois receives the Yashin Trophy for best goalkeeper during the Ballon D'Or ceremony at Theatre Du Chatelet In Paris on October 17, 2022 in Paris, France.

There’s A Reason Keepers Don’t Win The Big Hardware

Karim Benzema of Real Madrid CF celebrates a goal prior to the referee cancelling the goal during the LaLiga Santander match between Real Madrid CF and FC Barcelona at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on October 16, 2022 in Madrid, Spain.

For Real Madrid, The Clásico Was Just Another Game

Lautaro Martinez of FC Internazionale in action during the UEFA Champions League group C match between FC Barcelona and FC Internazionale at Spotify Camp Nou on October 12, 2022 in Barcelona, Spain.

Lautaro Martínez Went Bigger Than Bull Mode On Barcelona

Kylian Mbappe of Paris Saint-Germain arrives to the stadium for the Ligue 1 match between Stade Reims and Paris Saint-Germain at Stade Auguste Delaune on October 08, 2022 in Reims, France.

Kylian Mbappé Wants To Leave A PSG He Couldn’t Make His Own

Neymar Jr of Brazil celebrates after scoring their side's third goal with his teammates Raphinha and Lucas Paqueta during the international friendly match between Brazil and Tunisia at Parc des Princes on September 27, 2022 in Paris, France.

The World Cup Is South America’s To Win

Kaoru Mitoma of Team Japan celebrates scoring their team's second goal during the International Friendly match between Japan and United States at Merkur Spiel-Arena on September 23, 2022 in Duesseldorf, Germany.

Japan Hands The USMNT A Reality Check

Robert Lewandowski centre-forward of Barcelona and Poland lament a failed occasion during the UEFA Champions League group C match between FC Bayern München and FC Barcelona at Allianz Arena on September 13, 2022 in Munich, Germany.

Barcelona’s Latest Moral Victory Is Only As Good As Its Next Actual Victory

Antoine Griezmann of Atletico de Madrid celebrates after scoring his teams second goal during the UEFA Champions League group B match between Atletico Madrid and FC Porto at Civitas Metropolitano Stadium on September 7, 2022 in Madrid, Spain.

Antoine Griezmann Is Eating Shit With A Smile

Erling Haaland of Manchester City celebrates his hat trick during the Premier League match between Manchester City and Crystal Palace at Etihad Stadium on August 27, 2022 in Manchester, England.

The Erling Haaland Show Has Only Just Begun

Real Sociedad's Swedish forward Alexander Isak celebrates scoring his team's first goal during the Spanish league football match between Real Sociedad and Villarreal CF at the Anoeta stadium in San Sebastian on December 18, 2021.

Newcastle United Is Betting Big On Alexander Isak

Bernardo Silva of Manchester City scores their side's third goal during the Premier League match between Newcastle United and Manchester City at St. James Park on August 21, 2022 in Newcastle upon Tyne, England.

Cut It Out, Kevin

Crystal Palace's Ivorian striker Wilfried Zaha eyes the ball during the English Premier League football match between Liverpool and Crystal Palace at Anfield stadium, in Liverpool, north west England on August 15, 2022.

Wilfried Zaha Is The Mid-Table King

Gabriel Jesus of Arsenal nearly scores during the Premier League match between Arsenal FC and Leicester City at Emirates Stadium on August 13, 2022 in London, England.

Hallelujah, Gabriel Jesus Has Returned!

Manchester United mascot Fred the Red during the Premier League match between Manchester United and Brighton &amp; Hove Albion at Old Trafford on August 07, 2022 in Manchester, England.

Manchester United Is So Pitiful That I Almost Feel Bad

Paris Saint-Germain's Brazilian forward Neymar (R) celebrates with Paris Saint-Germain's Moroccan defender Achraf Hakimi after scoring a goal during the French L1 football match between Clermont Foot 63 and Paris Saint-Germain at Stade Gabriel Montpied in Clermont-Ferrand, central France on August 6, 2022.

If An Overhead Kick Is Scored In Paris, Does It Make A Sound?

England players celebrate with fans during the England women's team celebration at Trafalgar Square on August 01, 2022 in London, England. The England Women's football team beat Germany 2-1 in the final of the UEFA European Women's Championship last night at Wembley Stadium.

Is Women’s Soccer Leaving Home?

Frenkie de Jong of Netherlands stands for the national anthem prior to the UEFA Nations League League A Group 4 match between Netherlands and Poland at Stadium Feijenoord on June 11, 2022 in Rotterdam, Netherlands.

He Doesn’t Want To Come To Your Sorry-Ass Club, Gary

Alessia Russo of England scores her teams third goal during the UEFA Women's Euro 2022 Semi Final match between England and Sweden at Bramall Lane on July 26, 2022 in Sheffield, England.

This Is England?

FC Barcelona's French forward Ousmane Dembele and FC Barcelona's President Joan Laporta pose during Ousmane Dembele's ceremony at the Joan Gamper training ground in Sant Joan Despi, near Barcelona on July 14, 2022. - French international winger Ousmane Dembele, whose contract with Barcelona expired last month, ended six months of speculation about his future by agreeing to 'rejoin' the Catalan side until 2024, the club announced on July 14, 2022.

Barcelona Is Back, For Better And For Worse

Rey Manaj of Spezia Calcio celebrates after scoring the 1-1 goal during the Serie A match between US Salernitana and Spezia Calcio at Stadio Arechi on February 07, 2022 in Salerno, Italy.