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Albert Burneko
Assignment Editor
Connect
albert.burneko@defector.com
@albertburneko
Soccer
Japan Is The Best Kind Of World Cup Killer
80
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 2, 2022
The Machines
What The Boring Company Does
394
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 29, 2022
The Defector Crewneck Sweatshirt Is Back In Stock
Bad news: It's getting colder. Good news: The best way to cover your forearms has returned. The critically acclaimed Defector crewneck sweatshirt has been restocked in all sizes. Now's the time to get one of our most popular items, printed with union labor in the USA.
Chefector
My Damn Oven Died Just In Time For Thanksgiving
311
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 23, 2022
Soccer
Cristiano Ronaldo Now Going Door-To-Door Trying To Alienate People
128
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 17, 2022
Soccer
Croatia Will Say Goodbye To A Legend In Qatar
35
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 15, 2022
Soccer
It Is Illegal To List Spain Among The World Cup Favorites
58
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 10, 2022
Soccer
Tunisia Has The Coolest Nickname In The Whole World Cup
48
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 9, 2022
Internationals
The Defending World Cup Champs Are Still Absolutely Loaded
121
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 7, 2022
MLB
More Like Launch McCullers
212
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 2, 2022
Chefector
Let’s Make The Chili That, Uh, I Made This Week
250
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 29, 2022
NBA
How’s This Gonna Work?
122
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 25, 2022
The Machines
Here Are All Of The Keywords I Have Muted On Twitter
397
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 21, 2022
NBA
A Thorough 2022–23 NBA Season Preview, In Case They Have One (Not Decided Yet)
154
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 19, 2022
The Machines
More Like Megaworse
424
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 11, 2022
Chefector
A Delicious Thing To Do With Some Mushrooms
216
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 1, 2022
NBA
The NBA’s Aura Is Dumpster-Juice Green Right Now
192
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 28, 2022
This Is So Stupid
Please Welcome Defector’s New Chief Metaverse Officer, Devin The Dugong
314
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 23, 2022
NBA
Woke Cancel Culture Now Forcing Robert Sarver To Become Several Billion Dollars Richer
234
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 21, 2022
Golf
OK, You Wise-Asses, Who The Fuck Made Bryson DeChambeau Light Himself Up With A Gallery Rope?
180
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 19, 2022
Chefector
Green Action!
114
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 17, 2022
Media Meltdowns
More Like Turdle
401
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 16, 2022
Soccer
Pedri Did Everything Right, Except For The Most Important Thing
35
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 14, 2022
Politics
I Don’t Have A King
817
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 9, 2022
Media Meltdowns
How To Stay Out Of The Right-Wing Outrage Machine
258
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 2, 2022
Funbag
We Must Protect Soccer From Grubby Rule-Mongers
542
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 30, 2022
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