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Zillowing Out

A £700,000 House Worthy Of A Song

Chris Thompson/Defector

Last week, I read a really lovely and fun romantic comedy about a group of young queer friends who get sick of the stagnancy of their lives and decide to buy a house in a town outside of London and create a commune. Everyone I know loves to discuss this dream, so as a premise, I was already hooked. Town outside of London? That sounded great! Of course, I want to live in a gorgeous old house with my friends and some chickens while one of us becomes and Instagram star and some of us try to fall in love! That's a dream! That the book itself turned out to be funny and witty and heart-wrenching was an added bonus.

The book is called Wild Things by Laura Kay, and it's out in May. I highly recommend it if you need something to read at the beach this summer, but I'm off topic. Were I at my full mental capacity, I would write all about this house that reader Vikram sent in. It is not exactly the right kind of house for the book: far too expensive, far too nice. But it does have plenty of room for chickens.

I would write about how I like the beams on the ceiling, but not the wallpaper in the living room. How I detest the sparkly curtain in the kitchen and the backsplash, but like the butcher block counters. I would write about the lovely shutters, and the little light post out back; the carpet that will have to go, and the very deep tubs! Two great tubs in one house!

But sadly, I have been vanquished by norovirus. Disgusting, stupid, fiend who is trying to destroy me! This, in conjunction with the launch of the new season of Normal Gossip has rendered me unable to blog at my normal length and quality.

But luckily, Vikram sent me this house not because it was similar to a book that I read without his knowledge, but because the listing contained a video and ... oooh, boy ... let me tell you: you're gonna wanna see this!

This woman will take my place today. Allow her to guide you through this home with SONG!

Vikram found this house through his friend who lives in Britain and posted it to a Discord group! Thank you to this friend! "It seems like a nice, somewhat normal big house to me! It's not something that needs such lavish promotion!" he said. "The ceilings seem a bit low but maybe that's just a British thing."

I agree with his hesitation, though, that the line "stranger things have happened in this spacious master room" is unsettling and worrisome!

Fortunately, someone has already bought this house, so we don't have to deliberate too long about whether or not we should buy it with our friends and turn it into a fun commune.

This week's house was listed on for £700,000. It is no longer accepting offers.

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