The Stefon Diggs Experience Reaches Its Inevitable Maritime Climax

Talk about HIGH seas! Here’s a video of Patriots wideout Stefon Diggs pulling an offseason Odell Beckham to pARRRRGHty with some lovely ladies (and girlfriend Cardi B) on a luxury yacht:

You, along with the rest of the free world, may have noticed Diggs handing over a bag containing an unidentified pink substance to one of his co-passengers in that video while advising her, “Don’t take all of it.” While no one has been able to confirm what exactly this substance was, there’s a chance that it’s tusi, which is also known as “pink cocaine” despite not always having cocaine in its bathtub recipe. What the recipe often DOES contain, however, includes ketamine (someone tell Elon!), MDMA, and caffeine. The rainbow bagel of hard narcotics, as it were. Probably best you don’t take all of it. You don’t know what’s in that shit.

Whether or not the NFL, or more importantly the Patriots, CARE that Diggs committed the crime of Boating While Being A Wideout is equally unclear at the moment. Current New England head coach Mike Vrabel says he’s “aware” of the video, which almost certainly means that he and the organization will be “closely monitoring the situation” as a mandatory next step. But you and I can use history as a potential guide for how New England handles Diggs from here on out. If you’ve followed Diggs for his entire career, you know that every team he’s played for has a kind of shared experience, which goes like this:

1. Stefon Diggs arrives, makes a ton of contested catches, and takes his team deeper into the playoffs than they’ve gone in years.

2. He, or his brother, says or does some weird shit that gets the full attention of the internet (you never want this). Does … does Stefon hate his QB?

3. His teammates and coaches downplay everything and remind fans that this guy is COMPETITOR. In fact, this dude wants to win so bad that he can sometimes rub folks the wrong way, but that’s just football. This is usually when the adjective “mercurial” becomes a permanent descriptor of Diggs in all subsequent reports.

4. He’s abruptly traded or cut, and everyone who defended him the month prior suddenly looks relieved.

The Houston Texans got the express version of this experience when they employed Diggs for a single, misbegotten season a year ago. Through his first eight games with Houston, Diggs was on his way toward his customary 100-catch, 1,000-yard season. Then he tore his ACL in a Week 8 victory against the Colts. That brought an abrupt end to both his season and his time with the Texans. Right after trading for Diggs, Houston GM Nick Caserio cannily restructured the wideout’s contract down to a one-year deal, which allowed the team to let a recovering Diggs hobble into free agency this past spring.

Once on the market, the Patriots inked Diggs to a deal that was for three years in agent-ese, but in reality left the team with outs after every season. Whether or not they have an out BEFORE Diggs has even played a down for them is, again, murky. This is in large part because cutting Diggs would leave New England’s wideout unit as pathetic as it was a year ago. Minus Diggs, their WR1 for 2025 would likely be Mack Hollins. Their WR2 would be anyone’s guess. Maybe Kendrick Bourne. Maybe spiritual Belichick draft pick Ja’Lynn Polk. Maybe Cardi B. I have no fucking idea what the Pats would do without Diggs, and I’m betting that they don’t either.

That’s what will really determine this man’s fate in New England. We’re talking about a franchise that has its future QB (Drake Maye) in place, but no one for him to throw the ball to. That’s why GM Eliot Wolf took a flier on Diggs to begin with. The free agent class at wideout was lousy this offseason, and the draft class at that same position was arguably even less inspiring. Stefon Diggs, with his Hall of Very Good résumé, was the only port in the storm. The only reliable pass-catcher that Maye could work with. Even if that IS tusi that Diggs is handling in that video, and even if it IS the good tusi that has real blow in it … the Pats, bereft of any other option, may decide that the ride is still worth it. I can tell them how that ride will end. We all can.