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Underexplained Lists

The Coolness Of Baseball Positions, Ranked

12:56 PM EDT on September 29, 2022

UNITED STATES - CIRCA 1950s: Two boys playing baseball.
George Marks/Getty Images

Earlier today, Tom wrote a good blog about Aaron Judge, a rare non-vile member of the Vile Yankees. As if often the case in Defector Slack, this quickly devolved into Yankee bashing, a preferred pastime for almost the entire staff. Surprisingly, though, we all agreed that, while the Yankees are a miserable institution and the late 90s Yankees were boring husks, Bernie Williams was a very cool player on those teams.

Trying to figure out why we all felt that way, we arrived at a simple conclusion: center fielders are cool guys! We love them! This then led into an hours-long debate of which baseball positions are the coolest, the result of which you can see below in our definitive and scientific—I made a spreadsheet and everything—ranking. We mainly disagreed on the top spot and the merit of third basemen, and Drew dive-bombed in with a last second ranking that shifted a bunch of positions around. It went about as well as one could hope for.

(Before anyone asks, a couple of notes about our methodology: We decided pitchers can be cool but are so weird that they're their own block, and the designated hitter is a fake position and therefore not cool enough to even be included.)

Ok, now here's the list:

    1. Center fielder
    2. Shortstop
    3. Catcher
    4. Third baseman
    5. Right fielder
    6. Second baseman
    7. First baseman
    8. Getting brained by a line drive
    9. Left fielder

Those are the baseball positions, ranked in order of coolness.

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