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MLB

Now Here Is Some Baseball-Ass Baseball

Screenshot via SNY

Perhaps you are not yet ready to start thinking about baseball. It’s getting warmer, sure, but it’s not hot. Spring training is well underway, but there are too many other things to worry about. And besides, you don’t really need to start paying attention until the end of May.

False! We will not entertain any such thoughts, because baseball season started today, whether you are ready or not. Stop whatever you are doing right now and stuff a fistful of sunflower seeds into your damn mouth. Smear some pine tar on your computer. Hold a dirty baseball to your nose and, just for a moment, consider trying to swallow it. These are the things you will need to do in order to be ready to receive raw baseball energy that was created during today’s spring training game between the Cardinals and Mets.

Watch now as Luis Guillorme and Jordan Hicks battle through a 22-pitch at-bat that was stuffed full of foul balls and 100-mph heaters:

If you were not on your feet by the 12th pitch of this at-bat, hooting and hollering along with all the fellas in the Mets’ dugout, then you just weren’t prepared enough. My advice is to eat two hot dogs and then try again.