The first time I did yoga was in a beachside studio in Ewa Beach, Hawaii in 2010. I was visiting my family there for the summer, and my mom had recently become a regular at the studio. I remember the smell of incense in the stifling room and the shapes of other women's bodies prone on their multicolored mats, completely locked into whatever physio-spiritual ritual I had stumbled into.
I felt uncomfortable with the amount of chanting we did, but I liked the movement in the class enough to come back the next week. In the 15 years since I took that class, I've introduced several friends and romantic partners to yoga, and I recognize the look of intimidation in their eyes when they first enter a studio with low light and lofi beats playing.
I was able to push through the discomfort of my first class because I was in a completely different state in a room full of people I didn't know. Also, and possibly most crucially helpful: a lifetime of experience doing organized sports. I was experienced and comfortable moving my body, even if it wasn't the way I was moving it in that yoga class.
When it comes to trying new things, all newbies are not starting in the same place. I was aware of that when I talked to Mattie Lubchansky for the first episode of Try Hard. Her background with sports gave her a more ambivalent attitude toward trying new physical activities, and her identity as a trans woman means she's often on high alert for the snap judgments in people's eyes that could lead to physical threats. The stakes of not fitting in can be higher, and that means trying new things like yoga just aren't worth the anxiety.
But when I asked her what thing she might want to try for her episode, Mattie immediately said she wanted to go to a group yoga class. She had tried it a couple times before and while she liked it, she found the experience of being on display in a room full of strangers intolerably distressing. She thought this might be the perfect excuse to push herself to do the thing she wanted to do but also really, really didn't want to do.
She prepared by doing a series of YouTube yoga classes to get her body used to the general movements, but you can only prepare for an imaginary experience for so long. Eventually it was time to take The Class.
On the first episode of Try Hard, you'll hear about how the class went, what Mattie got from it, and also about how she almost chickened out.
A transcript of the episode can be found here.
You can listen to Try Hard wherever you get your podcasts: RSS here, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify (if you must). Send me voice memos of the things you're trying at podcasts@defector.com or message me on Instagram @alexlaughs.
By the way, Mattie happens to have a new book out this week called Simplicity. Check it out!
