Savor The Discomfort Of Kevin Durant Confronting A Mavs Fan Who Called Him A “Bitch”

As Kevin Durant jogged onto the court to warm up before the Phoenix Suns' loss to the Mavericks on Thursday night, a nearby Dallas fan squealed "bitch" in his direction. The basketball player turned around to see who called him a bitch, and the next 30 seconds of conversation were well beyond the ability of even a cringe artisan like Nathan Fielder. These two fans are locked in full caught-by-the-principal panic. They're throwing stuff at the wall and hoping something sticks. It's beautiful.

The first de-escalation tactic: Hold hand out for handshake. Second tactic: Waggle hand to show that the handshake offer is real. Third tactic: Explain in earnest that this lady's brother, his best friend, died four years ago. "So you call me a bitch?" Durant replies, reasonably.

Fourth and final tactic: Begin to explain to Kevin Durant that you have a "podcast about sports." Whenever one utters that phrase, they must be prepared for the possibility that their interlocutor will wheel away immediately in disgust, which is in fact what happened.

Durant returned to his warmup, then circled back a bit later to intervene when he saw that security was preparing to kick the fans out of the arena. Durant told security to spare them and left with some parting wisdom: "Don't act like a little kid—you're a grownup."

"There are better ways to try to get attention, there's better ways to indulge in a conversation with somebody besides trying to get a reaction out of them by calling them a bitch," Durant told the Arizona Republic after the Suns' 123-113 loss. "I could've easily gotten them kicked out and maybe ban them for a few weeks, but I'd rather have them watch me play." Yes, there are easier and more polite ways to ensure a brief colloquy with Kevin Durant. All you have to do is tweet at him.