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Jordan Poole Is Just Gonna Pass The Ball Right To—Oh No Fuck Me!

Jordan Poole #13 of the Washington Wizards drives to the basket against Immanuel Quickley #5 of the New York Knicks in the second half during an NBA In-Season Tournament game at Capital One Arena on November 17, 2023 in Washington, DC. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)
Rob Carr/Getty Images

The Washington Wizards did not spend any portion of the NBA's all-star break getting better at basketball. That was apparent as soon as their home game against the Denver Nuggets tipped off on Thursday night, and remained apparent throughout the 130-110 drubbing the Nuggets laid on them. You can usually chart how breezily the Nuggets earned a win by how few shots Nikola Jokic took in the game—he only took 10 last night, made all of them, and finished with a 21-19-15 triple-double. His night was made easy by the fact that the Wizards could not grab rebounds, could not stop getting their shots blocked, and could not stop turning the ball over.

There are a lot of people to blame for the fact that the Wizards are 9-46 and always playing a truly gruesome version of basketball, but last night's game offered an opportunity for a consistently maligned culprit to let himself off the hook. Jordan Poole, the guy who is supposed to be the best player on this team, or at the very least the engine of its offense, was extracted from the starting lineup on Thursday. Perhaps a night spent chilling on the bench and only being called on to play intermittent spurts against the opponent's second unit would save Poole from having this particular bad loss hung around his neck.

Such relief was not to be found. Poole was still called on to play his usual 30 minutes, and whatever plan interim head coach Brian Keefe had for bringing Poole off the bench didn't work out. His benched star scored 18 points on 4-of-17 shooting. He also committed this turnover:

Is Jordan Poole the worst player in the league? Probably not. Is he the funniest? Yes he is.

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