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How Many Angry Fellas Does It Take To Dislodge Cam Newton’s Hat?

Former NFL quarterback Cam Newton reacts after a play during a celebrity flag football game at the Mandalay Bay Convention Center on February 09, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Ian Maule/Getty Images

Could a normal person beat up a recently retired NFL player? This is not an interesting topic of debate. The answer is no. It's always no. What about several normal people? This absurd line of questioning must cease. OK, but could three normal people at least muster enough of a physical threat to knock a comically large hat off the head of a recently retired NFL player? Hmmmm. Now this question, we will explore.

Assisting us in today's quest for answers is Cam Newton, who has not played in the NFL since the 2021 season, but remains 6-foot-5 and roughly 240 pounds at the age of 34. Newton attended a 7-on-7 youth football tournament in Atlanta, Ga. over the weekend, and he wore, as is his custom, a preposterously large and silly hat to the event. For reasons that remain unclear, some guys at this event tried to beat up Newton. As previously indicated, we can safely assume that Newton's assailants failed in their attempt to cause him meaningful bodily harm. But what of the hat? Did these guys have enough strength and will to dislodge Newton's hat from its precarious perch? Submit your hypothesis now, and then let us consult the video footage to find our conclusion.

There you have it: Three guys is not enough guys to cause Cam Newton enough physical discomfort that his hat will fall from his head. Maybe next time Newton attends one of these events, he could stand around holding an egg on a spoon, thus allowing us to further our understanding of the strength of professional athletes relative to your average bozo.

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