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It's Easter! The time to discover colorful plastic orbs filled with candies begins now and will end perhaps in several years when a too well-hidden egg is pulled from behind a book on a shelf. Some of you may say, "all Easter candy is bad," but sweetie that's what Easter is all about: suffering!

Here are the Easter candies, ranked from best to worst:

  1. Starburst jelly beans
  2. Reese's Eggs
  3. Nerds Bumpy Jelly Beans
  4. Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate Caramel Bunnies
  5. Pastel M&Ms
  6. Cadbury mini egg
  7. Whoppers Robin Eggs
  8. Sour Patch Bunnies
  9. Butterfinger Nest Eggs
  10. Sweetarts Chicks, Ducks, and Bunnies
  11. Reese’s Pieces Eggs
  12. Solid Chocolate Bunnies
  13. Regular Jelly Beans
  14. Peeps (normal) 
  15. Twizzlers Bunnies
  16. Jordan Almonds
  17. York Peppermint Patty Eggs
  18. Hershey’s Cookies ’n’ Creme Polka Dot Eggs
  19. Tootsie Roll Candy Coated Eggs
  20. Carrot Cake Hershey Kisses
  21. Easter Pez
  22. Bunny Corn
  23. Peeps (all abnormal) 
  24. Cadbury creme egg
  25. Bubble Gum Eggs
  26. Marshmallow Chicks & Rabbits
  27. See's Candies Sweet Surprise Chicks
  28. Hershey’s Marshmallow Eggs
  29. Fluffy Stuff Cotton Tails
  30. Getting hit by a bus
  31. Empty chocolate bunny

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