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Defector

Patrick Redford

Soccer

Australia Has One Cool Old Guy And One Cool Young Guy

Grzegorz Krychowiak (L) and Robert Lewandowski (R) of Poland clap for fans during the celebration after Poland qualified for the 2022 FIFA World Cup after 2022 FIFA World Cup Qualifier knockout round play-off match between Poland and Sweden at Silesian Stadium in Chorzow, Poland. Poland beat Sweden 2-0.

Internationals

Robert Lewandowski Alone Might Not Be Enough For Poland

CLEVELAND, OH - NOVEMBER 2: Darius Garland #10 of the Cleveland Cavaliers handles the ball against the Boston Celtics on November 2, 2022 at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse in Cleveland, Ohio. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2022 NBAE (Photo by David Liam Kyle/NBAE via Getty Images)

Darius Garland Only Needed One Functional Eye To Torch Boston

ORLANDO, FL - OCTOBER 28: Bol Bol #10 of the Orlando Magic smiles during the game against the Charlotte Hornets on October 28, 2022 at Amway Center in Orlando, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2022 NBAE (Photo by Fernando Medina/NBAE via Getty Images)

It’s A Great Time To Enjoy Bol Bol

United States midfielder Weston McKennie (8) celebrates with forward Christian Pulisic (10), midfielder Tyler Adams (4) and teammates after scoring a goal during a CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying game between the United States and Mexico on November 12, 2021 at TQL Stadium in Cincinnati, OH.

At Long Last, The USMNT Is Back At The World Cup

Joshua Primo #11 of the San Antonio Spurs looks on during the game against the Denver Nuggets on April 5, 2022 at the Ball Arena in Denver, Colorado. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2022 NBAE (Photo by Bart Young/NBAE via Getty Images)

Spurs Cut Josh Primo After Allegations That He Exposed Himself To Multiple Women

NATAL, BRAZIL - JUNE 16: John Brooks of the United States celebrates after scoring the team's second goal during the 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Group G match between Ghana and USA at Estadio das Dunas on June 16, 2014 in Natal, Brazil. (Photo by Alex Livesey - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: John Brooks

AUSTIN, TEXAS - MARCH 15: Mark Zuckerberg, via video, speaks at Into the Metaverse: Creators, Commerce and Connection during the 2022 SXSW Conference and Festivals at Austin Convention Center on March 15, 2022 in Austin, Texas. (Photo by Samantha Burkardt/Getty Images for SXSW)

Capital

Meta Will Continue Burning Billions Of Dollars Until Something Happens

Mike Evans Wrote Down A Thing: The NFL’s Finest Minds Investigate

MUMBAI, INDIA - OCTOBER 4: NBA Commissioner Adam Silver speaks to the media prior to the game at the NCSI Dome on October 4, 2019 in Mumbai, India. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, By downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2019 NBAE (Photo by Joe Murphy/NBAE via Getty Images)

The NBA Will Never Introduce Relegation

A referee puts a safety symbol (both hands clasped together) over his head as a player hands a football to him

College Football

Four Safeties And A Loss

ORLANDO, FL - MARCH 27: Giovanni Reyna #11 of the United States moves towards the box during a FIFA World Cup qualifier game between Panama and USMNT at Exploria Stadium on March 27, 2022 in Orlando, Florida. (Photo by John Todd/ISI Photos/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Gio Reyna

US international grandmaster Hans Niemann waits his turn to move during a second-round chess game against Jeffery Xiong on the second day of the Saint Louis Chess Club Fall Chess Classic in St. Louis, Missouri, on October 6, 2022. - Niemann said on October 5 that he "won't back down," after the chess platform chess.com reported he has "probably cheated more than 100 times" in online games. (Photo by Tim Vizer / AFP) (Photo by TIM VIZER/AFP via Getty Images)

Chess

Hans Niemann Hits Back At Magnus Carlsen And Other Foes With A Big Civil Lawsuit

BROOKLYN, NY - OCTOBER 19: Zion Williamson #1 of the New Orleans Pelicans smiles during the game against the Brooklyn Nets on October 19, 2022 at Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2022 NBAE (Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images)

Zion’s Back

Niemann giving an interview after Round 10

Hans Niemann Is Having Fun At The U.S. Championships Playing Some “Absolutely Psychotic Chess”

Liverpool's Diogo Jota (left) and Chelsea's N'Golo Kante battle for the ball during the Premier League match at Anfield, Liverpool. Picture date: Thursday March 4, 2021. (Photo by Oli Scarff/PA Images via Getty Images)

The World Cup Injury Crisis Is Only Going To Get Worse

Aaron Rodgers takes a hit from a Jets defender.

Aaron Rodgers Needs His Teammates To Stop Manifesting The Wrong Things

NORWICH, ENGLAND - AUGUST 19: Josh Sargent of Norwich City celebrates scoring the opening goal during the Sky Bet Championship between Norwich City and Millwall at Carrow Road on August 19, 2022 in Norwich, United Kingdom. (Photo by Marc Atkins/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Josh Sargent II

Birdfector

The Dodgers Squandered A Rally Goose By Putting It In A Trash Can

Life Lessons

I Just Ate $28 Worth Of Taco Bell Because Some Dingus On TV Claimed He Did

HENDERSON, NEVADA - OCTOBER 04: Scoot Henderson #0 of G League Ignite runs back on defense after Victor Wembanyama #1 of Boulogne-Levallois Metropolitans 92 grabbed a rebound in the third quarter of their exhibition game at The Dollar Loan Center on October 04, 2022 in Henderson, Nevada. Ignite defeated Metropolitans 92 122-115. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Prepare Yourself For Some Shameless NBA Tanking

Washington Commanders head coach Ron Rivera looks on as Quarterback Carson Wentz speaks at a press conference announcing Wentz's signing with the team at the Ashburn facility on Thursday, March 17, 2022. (Photo by Julia Nikhinson for The Washington Post via Getty Images)

Ron Rivera Correctly Identifies The QB He Picked As A Team Weakness

Hans speaking after his win at the U.S. Chess Championships.

Hans Niemann Remains Defiant

LONDON, ENGLAND - JULY 30: Gabriel Jesus of Arsenal celebrates scoring their 3rd goal with Martin Odegaard during Pre-Season Friendly, The Emirates Cup match between Arsenal and Sevilla at Emirates Stadium on July 30, 2022 in London, England. (Photo by Charlotte Wilson/Offside/Offside via Getty Images)

Why Can’t This Be Arsenal’s Year To Win The League?

Niemann flying high after defeating Carlsen