Aubrey Huff, an ultra-divorced former baseball player who won two World Series with the San Francisco Giants, was booted off Twitter in August 2021. Huff was then and is today working tirelessly to monetize his particular meme-forward brand of COVID-truthering, which he says brought him afoul of the “beta cucks and liberal Karens” running Twitter, who cracked down on his account because they “hate when people speak the truth or make money if their liberal platforms!” Huff has spent the time since growing out the world’s angriest goatee and filming one long not-mad rant from the interior of an extended-cab pickup truck, proving once and for all that he is indeed a powerful Alpha Male and a Winner.
Huff’s brain was always too powerful for Twitter. Whether he was boasting about teaching his children to shoot guns at Bernie Sanders supporters, or bashing his former team for hiring a woman, or encouraging his followers to kidnap Iranian women and bring them to the U.S. “to fan us and feed us grapes, amongst other things,” it was always clear that Huff’s brain was operating on a wavelength entirely of its own. It’s a juicy brain, a plump and ripe and well-marbled lump of tasty organ meat, loaded down with vitamin B12, riboflavin, choline, and a sumptuous overdose of high-density lipoprotein—or “good”—cholesterol. And like all human brains it has a taste that simply can’t be beat!
Hey wait, what’s going on here? I have never talked about the brain in this way before.
Why am I suddenly experiencing an all-consuming lust for human brains?