Alexandar Georgiev Has Room For Improvement In The Art Of The Goalie Tantrum

Your kid did not get that thoroughbred pony or plutonium-powered video game under the tree, and that's not sitting well with the little snot, so you are treated to a tantrum that probably needed several hours and a ridiculous replacement gift because of your own misplaced sense of guilt and desire for holiday peace. But take heart. Your hyperkinetic little felon-in-training could have a future in big-time athletics:

That is Alexandar Georgiev of the Colorado Avalanche commemorating a 4-0 lead turning into a 5-4 overtime loss to the once-hapless Arizona Coyotes, with a grand little fit that we somehow conflate into "My, isn't he a competitor?" He has just surrendered a goal to yeoman-level (read: third-line) center Jack McBain 4:40 into overtime, elevating the Coyotes from eighth place to seventh and closing the gap between the two teams from eight to seven points with only 48 games left to play. In other words, not really that big a deal in the grander scheme given that (a) Georgiev's job is safe, (b) Colorado's place is safe, (c) it's Arizona, for Christ's sake, and (d) only the 4,600 people in Mullett Arena actually saw it because even if you're paying for the NHL package because you are a hockey junkie, you're still not watching that one.

But Georgiev still had his hissy, and a fine hissy it was by modern standards. Hockey players don't usually give in to hissies until they get to the bench, because most on-ice hissies are actually called "fights." Goalie hissies these days are graded in Binningtons, because St. Louis goalie Jordan Binnington is the current standard in the art of hissydom. Given the context, this is a 2.8 on the five-point Binnington scale, and for you old-timers, this is a 2.8 on the 100-point Billy Smith scale, named for the old Islanders goalie who in moments of stress often mistook opponents' ankles, calves, and even nethers for pucks, posts, or panes of glass. He didn't have hissies, he had explosions. He also had a 17-year career, four Stanley Cups and one Hall-of-Fame plaque, and by the current statistical analysis that says, "If A happens, then it must have been because of unrelated fact B."

Anyway, well done Alexandar, first for being the only Alexandar in North American sports history, and second for showing young oversugared children a path to fame and riches. Sure, talent matters too, but if you want the pony, you'd better work on the hissy.