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Media Meltdowns

TNT’s Draymond Green Minidoc Is A Parody Of An Apology

Image via NBA on TNT

So you’ve Falcon-punched your younger colleague at work. There’s a worst-case scenario, in which you lose that job, deal with criminal charges, and wrestle with your personal guilt. There’s also a best-case scenario: Perhaps you and your employer agree that you’ll take a brief vacation, during which a film crew comes to your house to document how hard you’re working to prepare for a return to the workplace, and just how difficult a time this is in your life, without ever asking you to really reckon with Falcon-punching your younger colleague, instead viewing it purely through the cold lens of media optics.

That was the ideal path offered to Draymond Green, who laid out poor Jordan Poole at Golden State Warriors practice two weeks ago. He stepped into the Interrotron, rode a stationary bike, and hung out with his kids. Just add a sappy soundtrack and stentorian voiceover, and the result is a post-shame mini-documentary that aired on TNT ahead of the Warriors’ season opener Tuesday night. It is one of the dumbest things ever to appear on a network that regularly airs Shaq’s thoughts on contemporary basketball:

Completely absent from the documentary is Poole, probably by choice. Perhaps he expected that his attacker would use this opportunity on national television to express remorse for someone other than himself. Has Draymond Green thought hard about lighting up his 23-year-old coworker? “I think that’s the natural process that I went through,” he says to the camera. “Now that you processed what just happened, now that you’ve processed the ‘why,’ now how do you feel, and what do you feel about it? Because everyone still needs to process what happened. It can take time.”

That was kind of weird, so let’s try that again: Has Draymond Green thought hard about lighting up his 23-year-old coworker? “Once I woke up to the video, I don’t know if the dynamic necessarily changed in that because you never really know people’s opinions right away. You give it some time to allow people to throw their opinion out, which quite frankly I don’t care about people’s opinion. And to be totally honest with you, I never really knew how much it blew up, because I don’t really spend much time searching Instagram or looking through comments. I don’t really read many tweets at all. So I was just at home chilling with my children. If you want me to be honest with you, I still don’t know how much the world may think it blew up.”

Still not what we’re looking for, so one last time: Has Draymond Green thought about lighting up his 23-year-old coworker? “I was told the world has been able to see one of your worst moments. Look at all the upside you have now. And it’s a totally different way of looking at it.” Interesting!

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