Wednesday night, the Maple Leafs scored on a piece of improbably timed slapstick; Buster Keaton couldn't have done better. Simply trying to clear the zone on a penalty kill, Simon Benoit—he of do-a-cool-punch-then-get-punched fame—put the puck around the boards. Referee Kelly Sutherland, preparing to get out of the way, tripped over his own skates, fell down, and stopped the puck with his prone body in perfect position for Steven Lorentz to skate in and score the shorty. It would prove the winner in a 2-1 Toronto win over Colorado.
" I was trying to look to get a change and, and I just saw him kind of go down,” Lorentz said. “ I saw the puck squirt loose, so I thought, ‘You know, I might as well reroute and try and go get a shot." Leafs coach Craig Berube, asked about the unlikely assist, did his profession proud by instead complaining about the call that led to the man-disadvantage.
More importantly, this gives us a chance to recall some of the sillier goals in recent memory, and wonder where this slots in. Marc Bergevin flinging the puck into his own net has long been my go-to, right up there with Ryan Suter's kicked own goal, Cam Ward's skate delivery, and Jaroslav Halak's self-dunk. But own goals probably shouldn't count, nor should shootout goals—which sadly disqualifies Marek Malik's unlikely 15-round trick shot. Empty nets probably shouldn't count either, which means Corey Perry scoring the longest goal in NHL history, on his own net, is out.
I'm thinking of weird bounces. I'm thinking of strange caroms off the glass that wrong-foot goalies, and pucks that ricochet off the back of their head. I'm thinking of rolling pucks crossing up netminders. I'm thinking of otherwise normal goals that serve as wonderful punchlines to hilarious collapses.
Above all I'm thinking of Ales Hemsky, even though that really means thinking of Patrik Stefan. But if that classic doesn't quite fit the criteria for "funny goal" because the fun was all in another person's failure, I'm happy to declare that Lorentz's goal counts, because referees aren't people.
