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NHL

Hockey Man In Need Of Third, Just-Smelliest Enough Salt

1:36 PM EDT on March 26, 2023

Once upon a time there were magical potions. The potions lived inside tiny blue jars with very tight lids. Only someone with very nimble hands could open them, and they were kept very, very safe. The potions were important. The potions were sacred. The potions were how the big hockey men stayed awake!

Whenever the big hockey men skate too fast or too long or get hit too hard, they hold out their big gloved hands to the potion keeper. Please, they say, I need the potions!

For the potions are made of salt, and the salts are made of a magic called ammonium. In the olden days, the magic salt potions were for ladies whose corsets were so tight they couldn't breathe, but now they are for everyone, even big hockey men.

One day, a big hockey man stretched out his big hand. He needed a potion! The potion keeper with the nimble hands pressed the lid and twisted it, and handed the special salts over to the man.

He waved them in front of his nose. he waved them again.

He took a big inhale through one nostril, but nothing happened. He tried the other, and nothing happened there either. He shook his head sadly

This potion was too weak! It wasn't smelly enough! It wouldn't do at all!

He reached out his hand for another.

Yet again, a potion keeper pressed the lid and passed him the small, sacred blue bottle.

The big hockey man smiled. He raised the potion salts to his nose. Again he breathed through one nostril and the other. But he was not close enough.

He brought the potion closer and.... oh no!!!!!

Oooh! Ahhhhh!!!! EEEK!

The big hockey man cried!

He wretched.

He bent over his knees in anguish.

This potion was far, far too strong! It was too smelly!!! It wouldn't do at all.

The poor hockey man. He needed a salt that was not too weak and not too strong. He needed a third, just smelliest enough salt.

But it was nowhere to be found.

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