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A Complete List Of Players Who, Unlike Ben Simmons, Would Not Be Willing To Join The Golden State Warriors

Ben Simmons
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Big NBA news! As you may know, one of the major storylines of this offseason has been the question of whether the Philadelphia 76ers will trade away Ben Simmons, whose brain-boomage recently torpedoed the team’s best shot at winning a championship in decades. Simmons may be a sullen, neurotic, possibly poisonous weirdo who can’t and won’t shoot but also insists he’s a point guard, but he’s also a 25-year-old, 6-foot-10 three-time all-star; a trade would remake whatever team acquired him, and the return for the Sixers could either mint or doom their championship ambitions.

So, how’s that all going? Evidently there hasn’t been much to report so far, apart from the odd rumor of an extravagant asking price on Philly’s part and the occasional dumb, defensive, clumsily obscure tweet by Sixers president of basketball operations Daryl Morey. This morning, though, Bleacher Report’s Jason Dumas has a scoop:

Ben Simmons is open, if he must leave the Philadelphia 76ers, to possibly joining Steph Curry, Draymond Green, and Klay Thompson on the Golden State Warriors. A bold position. Here, in my estimation, is a complete list of NBA players who, if they had to change teams, would have no interest in joining the Golden State Warriors:

  • Uhhh, maybe, like, Kevin Durant, I guess?