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Can The A’s Reach Triple-Digit Attendance?

OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA - AUGUST 22: Adam Oller #36 of the Oakland Athletics pitches against the Miami Marlins in the first inning at RingCentral Coliseum on August 22, 2022 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

The Oakland Athletics gave away free hoodies last night as part of “Please Take Our Swag Because We Know It’s The Marlins In Town” promotion, and the merch was flying out of the bins. The announced attendance was 2,630 and the A’s were three-hit by Edward Cabrera. A good time was had by nearly none.

We mention this because this was a game earmarked by the sicko community of which your author is sergeant-at-arms as a possible three-digit attendance night. The A’s have done that twice before, both in 1979, when they drew 308,000 total fans and finally convinced Charlie Finley that a jilted Oakland fan is a thing to behold because he or she looks exactly like an empty chair.

As it was, the giveaway hoodie was apparently enough to convince A’s recidivists to overcome their ongoing passive boycott of the John Fisher regime and flock to—well, sort of aimlessly mill around, more like—the ballpark. It was the second-smallest crowd of the season and, for that matter, the second smallest crowd since 1979, but A’s fans’ will to keep messaging Fisher is seemingly flagging. Their attendance this year is going to easily double that of the 1979 mark, and with the Yankees as the next series and a Nickelodeon Drone night scheduled for Saturday, the chance to break the 1,000-fan barrier is down to its last night tonight, a Pablo Lopez–Zach Logue swagtacular. Wednesday is a day game, and given the current pleasant weather, they could top 5,000. The Marlins are easily the most repellent team left on the schedule, and the only other possibility is the final series of the year against Los Angeles if the Angels shut down Shohei Ohtani and Mike Trout, as common sense would suggest they will.

Besides, now that the Oakland cops have caught on to the couple who were detected having oral sex in the stadium on Sunday, the potential draw among what Keenan Wynn referred to in Dr. Strangelove as “deviated preverts” has seemingly diminished. Man, sometimes marketing is just plain difficult.