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Defector

<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

LAKE FOREST, ILLINOIS - JULY 28: Marquise Goodwin #84 of the Chicago Bears stretches during the Chicago Bears training camp at Halas Hall on July 28, 2021 in Lake Forest, Illinois. (Photo by Nuccio DiNuzzo/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Chicago Bears

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA - JULY 29: Taylor Heinicke #4 and Ryan Fitzpatrick #14 of the Washington Football Team stretch together during training camp at the Bon Secours Washington Football Team training center park on July 29, 2021 in Richmond, Virginia. (Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Washington Football Team

ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK - JANUARY 03: Tua Tagovailoa #1 of the Miami Dolphins warms up before the game against the Buffalo Bills at Bills Stadium on January 03, 2021 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Timothy T Ludwig/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Miami Dolphins

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - AUGUST 14: Head coach Jon Gruden of the Las Vegas Raiders reacts to the crowd during warmups before a preseason game against the Seattle Seahawks at Allegiant Stadium on August 14, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Raiders defeated the Seahawks 20-7. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Las Vegas Raiders

GLENDALE, ARIZONA - JULY 28: DeAndre Hopkins #10 and A.J. Green #18 of the Arizona Cardinals look on during passing drills at Training Camp at State Farm Stadium on July 28, 2021 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Arizona Cardinals

Funbag

If You Could Remember Every Single Thing, Would You?

FOXBOROUGH, MA - AUGUST 12: Mac Jones #10 of the New England Patriots smiles during warm ups prior to the start of the game against the Washington Football Team at Gillette Stadium on August 12, 2021 in Foxborough, Massachusetts. (Photo by Kathryn Riley/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: New England Patriots

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - AUGUST 07: Kirk Cousins #8 of the Minnesota Vikings stretches before taking the field at U.S. Bank Stadium on August 07, 2021 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Adam Bettcher/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Kirk Cousins

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Minnesota Vikings

COSTA MESA, CALIFORNIA - JULY 29: Chris Harris #25 of the Los Angeles Chargers warms up during Los Angeles Chargers Training Camp at Jack Hammett Sports Complex on July 29, 2021 in Costa Mesa, California. (Photo by Michael Owens/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Los Angeles Chargers

SANTA CLARA, CALIFORNIA - OCTOBER 18: Sourdough Sam of the San Francisco 49ers walks through the stands during the second quarter against the Los Angeles Rams at Levi's Stadium on October 18, 2020 in Santa Clara, California. (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: San Francisco 49ers

EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY - JANUARY 03: Daniel Jones #8 of the New York Giants reacts after being tackled against the Dallas Cowboys during the first quarter at MetLife Stadium on January 03, 2021 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: New York Giants

OXNARD, CA - JULY 24: Owner Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys welcomes fans to training camp at River Ridge Complex on July 24, 2021 in Oxnard, California. (Photo by Jayne Kamin-Oncea/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Dallas Cowboys

ENGLEWOOD, COLORADO - JULY 30: Andre Mintze #91 practices during the Denver Broncos Training Camp at UCHealth Training Center on July 30, 2021 in Englewood, Colorado. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Denver Broncos

SPARTANBURG, SOUTH CAROLINA - JULY 30: Sam Darnold #14 of the Carolina Panthers walks the field prior to Panthers Training Camp at Wofford College on July 30, 2021 in Spartanburg, South Carolina. (Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Carolina Panthers

ALLEN PARK, MICHIGAN - JULY 28: Detroit Lions head football coach Dan Campbell speaks with the media before the Detroit Lions Training Camp on July 28, 2021 in Allen Park, Michigan. (Photo by Nic Antaya/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Detroit Lions

PHILADELPHIA, PA - JULY 29: Head coach Nick Sirianni of the Philadelphia Eagles fist bumps Genard Avery #58 during training camp at the NovaCare Complex on July 29, 2021 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Philadelphia Eagles

CINCINNATI, OHIO - JULY 28: Joe Burrow #9 of the Cincinnati Bengals calls out instructions during training camp on July 28, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Cincinnati Bengals

FLOWERY BRANCH, GA - JULY 29: Team owner Arthur Blank (l) of the Atlanta Falcons walks toward Head Coach Arthur Smith on the first day of training camp at IBM Performance Field on July 29, 2021 in Flowery Branch, Georgia. (Photo by Edward M. Pio Roda/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Atlanta Falcons

Jack Easterby speaks onstage during the 16th Annual Super Bowl Gospel Celebration at ASU Gammage on January 30, 2015 in Tempe, Arizona.

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Houston Texans

SAN FRANCISCO - MARCH 25: A man walks past a sculpture of a bow and arrow near the San Francisco Bay Bridge March 25, 2005 in San Francisco, California. San Francisco's 49-Mile Scenic Drive was opened in 1939 as a guide for visitors to The City's 1939-1940 Golden Gate International Exposition. The route includes most of San Francisco's major sights as well as winding through many of the city's colorful neighborhoods; giving visitors a look into the diversity and beauty of the area. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Podcasts

An Overdue Heart-To-Heart, With AJ Daulerio

FLORHAM PARK, NJ - JULY 28: Michael Carter #32, Jarrad Davis #52 and Del'Shawn Phillips #43 of the New York Jets during morning practice at Atlantic Health Jets Training Center on July 28, 2021 in Florham Park, New Jersey. (Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: New York Jets

JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA - MAY 15: Head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars Urban Meyer watches the action during Jacksonville Jaguars Training Camp at TIAA Bank Field on May 15, 2021 in Jacksonville, Florida. (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2021: Jacksonville Jaguars

BENIDORM, SPAIN - JULY 22: People sunbathe at Levante Beach on July 22, 2015 in Benidorm, Spain. Spain has set a new record for visitors, with 29.2 million visitors in June, 4.2% more than the same period in 2014. Spain is also expected to be the main destination of tourists seeking a value-for-money all-inclusive holiday after the Tunisia attack. (Photo by David Ramos/Getty Images)

I Went To The Beach And All I Got Was This Petty Existential Rage

DALLAS, TEXAS - OCTOBER 12: A general view of play between the Texas Longhorns and the Oklahoma Sooners during the 2019 AT&T Red River Showdown at Cotton Bowl on October 12, 2019 in Dallas, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

College Football

A Bigger SEC Is Better Football

OSKALOOSA, IOWA - JANUARY 25: Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang plays mini-golf after holding a town hall meeting at Penn Central Mall January 25, 2020 in Oskaloosa, Iowa. While three of the top-polling Democratic presidential candidates are U.S. Senators and must be in Washington for the impeachment trial of President Donald Trump, millionaire businessman Yang continues to campaign across Iowa ahead of its all-important caucuses scheduled for February 03. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)