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Pillow Guy Mike Lindell Had A Very Strange Week In South Dakota

DULUTH, MN - SEPTEMBER 30: Michael Lindell, CEO of MyPillow Inc., speaks during a campaign rally for President Donald Trump at the Duluth International Airport on September 30, 2020 in Duluth, Minnesota. The rally is Trump's first after last night's Presidential Debate. (Photo by Stephen Maturen/Getty Images)
Stephen Maturen/Getty Images

Patriots! Have you heard the news? The MyPillow guy Mike Lindell has data—37 terabytes of the stuff—that proves without a doubt that China stole the election. The proof, per the Washington Times, comes in the form of “packet captures” said to have been intercepted by hackers that “could be unencrypted to reveal that a cyberattack occurred and that votes were switched.” This latest bombshell from Lindell comes on the heels of a documentary called Absolute 9-0, which is also about the alleged election theft, and he was set to reveal his evidence on Wednesday at what he’s calling a “symposium” in Sioux Falls, S.D. with the help of a “cyber expert” named Josh Merritt aka “Spyder.” Here is what Merritt said about the “data”:

“So our team said we’re not going to say that this is legitimate if we don’t have confidence in the information,” Merritt said. And it apparently turns out it was not legitimate.

“We were handed a turd,” he said. “And I had to take that turd and turn it into a diamond. And that’s what I think we did.”

Washington Post

Getting owned to hell by his own computer geek is just one of the many indignities suffered by Lindell, who has made up for what he’s lacking in compromising material with pure (unintentional) comedic firepower. Here he is on the first day of the symposium, getting extremely fired up about someone taking a lunch break:

So, how long did Lindell’s dedication to remaining on stage, yelling incomprehensibly, for three straight days hold up? On Wednesday, he was on stage pointing to charts about Pennsylvania counties or whatever when he got the news that a federal judge ruled that Dominion’s lawsuit against him and a few other clowns can go forward, prompting him to flee the stage.

Lindell was not the only person to flee over the course of the week. The crowd thinned out dramatically after one day of the bizarre spectacle of a pillow entrepreneur Minnesotanly drawling about China and stuff, and one of the cyber experts who for some reason came to town took a phone call while mic’d up, and then sauntered off the stage in the middle of an answering a question (it starts at 30 seconds into this video).

The whole thing was a stupid mess without any real carnival shit, mostly just laughs at the incompetence of these losers, though Lindell turned up the drama on the final day when he claimed to have been attacked by “Anifa.”

Wow, Antifa? Sounds serious, let’s see what the alleged warzone of a parking lot looks like.

Other highlights included Jeffrey Epstein’s former lawyer Alan Dershowitz showing up and Lindell talking about his trip to Mexico, “where they were cutting my head off” (?). Also, this guy summed up the whole bizarre vibe of the event:

Seems like everyone had a good time.