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Aubrey Huff’s Chapped Buttcheeks Karate-Kicked Off In School Board Election

Aubrey Huff sells weird supplements on YouTube.
Screenshot via YouTube

Former baseball guy and goateed horse’s ass Aubrey Huff was on the ballot Tuesday in Solana Beach, California, running for a seat on the district’s five-member Board of Education. It’s a terrible thought, a red-pilled MRA freak who spends his days hammering Divorced Dad talking points to lost-cause MAGA lunatics across an ever-shrinking spread of social media accounts suddenly having a formal role in the running of a school district. Fortunately for the children of Solana Beach, Huff’s nascent political ambitions suffered a brutal, dispiriting setback Tuesday: The San Diego Union-Tribune reported Tuesday night that Huff was roundly rejected by San Diego County voters, in the most lopsided two-candidate race anywhere on the local ballot.

It’s not clear that Huff understood when he entered the school board race that this endeavor would require the participation of the candidate. Huff offered no platform to speak of: A San Diego county candidate list indicates he declined to submit a candidate statement, and in October he declined to participate in a Del Mar Times roundup, where the non-meme candidates described their qualifications and identified issues facing the district. Where other candidates filed as incumbents and advocates and project managers, Huff filed as “Retired Professional Athlete,” possibly counting on his diminishing and profoundly noxious celebrity to carry him past his opponent, sitting Board Vice President Debra Schade.

Huff played 13 years in the majors and won two championships late in his career with the San Francisco Giants, who he joined in 2010. He appears never to have left California following his retirement in 2014, first taking a job with the PAC-12 Network, then working in radio and coaching some high school baseball in San Diego in 2015, all the while refining his meme-forward right-wing internet troll routine. In 2020, the Giants disinvited Huff from an anniversary celebration of their 2010 World Series over his obnoxious online behavior, and in 2021 Huff’s Twitter account was finally permanently suspended, which he described as the work of Twitter’s “beta cucks and liberal Karens.”

Huff’s politics and whole deal are already out there: He hates women and has built an online brand out of being mad that women are allowed to leave their loser husbands, a right his own wife exercised in 2017; he would like for his children to shoot Bernie Sanders supporters; and he thinks COVID-19 vaccines are a delivery method for government mind-control nanobots. When he had the reach for it, he deployed these takes to own the libs, because his life is empty and unfulfilling. Now that he’s widely deplatformed, Huff needs to reach a little higher for the attention he craves. Hence, a quarter-assed run for the local school board.

This ambition extremely did not pay off: By the latest published count, Huff received just 362 of nearly 1,900 votes cast in the election, or approximately 19 percent. Now that public office is no longer an option, Huff will presumably resume his primary occupation, which is ranting not-madly into a dash-mounted cell-phone camera.

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