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NFL

The Texans’ Front Office Won’t Give Up Until Everyone Hates Them

Jack Easterby speaks onstage during the 16th Annual Super Bowl Gospel Celebration at ASU Gammage on January 30, 2015 in Tempe, Arizona.
Photo: Marcus Ingram/Getty Images for Super Bowl Gospel

There are a lot of ways to build and run an NFL team, some more successful than others. There’s also no one right way to do things, and so it’s hard to judge the performance of newly installed executives until their teams start winning or losing games. But there are certain missteps, such as alienating a franchise quarterback to the point that he demands a trade, which should make any NFL braintrust at least consider making some tweaks to how they do things. Unless, of course, that braintrust is employed by the Houston Texans.

Not satisfied with having made a series of boneheaded decisions that caused Deshaun Watson to vow to never play another game in a Texans uniform, vice president of football operations Jack Easterby and general manager Nick Caserio have gone about trying to piss off every last person in the organization. ESPN’s Adam Schefter reports that the pair have continued to make sweeping changes by dismissing longtime staff members. One of those dismissed staffers is equipment manager Mike Parson, who Schefter reports was close to Watson and whose firing does not seem to be sitting well with J.J. Watt:

Schefter cites one anonymous player who told him that Easterby and Caserio are getting rid of people they didn’t hire themselves so that they can fill the organization with new hires who will be “indebted to them for their work.”

To which one can only say: Great job, guys! In five months, after Caserio has been forced to trade Watson and Watt because they cannot stand the sound of preachin’ Jack Easterby’s stupid voice, the bosses will at least have the hard-earned respect of all the team staffers. Sure, it’s nice to win football games and not be despised by every player in the league, but there’s nothing more important than hearing a hearty “Yes, sir!” from the equipment manager every time you ask him to throw your socks into with the wash along with all the uniforms.