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Your Guide To The Sad Lockout Filler Blogs On MLB.com

Screenshot: Astros.com

If you enjoy baseball but aren’t so keen on its day-to-day happenings or anyone who currently plays it, there’s a hot new website for you to check out! Or at least, there’s a website.

While Major League Baseball’s owners have locked the players out, the team websites hosted at MLB.com—your Pirates.com, Yankees.com, and so forth—face “limitations on the type of content we display.” MLB.com reporter Mark Feinsand notes the league is making “every effort to not use players’ names, images or likenesses (NIL) for promotional, advertising or other commercial purposes.” No matter! The sites have pivoted to “a lot more content that focuses on the game’s rich history.” Navigating the game’s rich history can be overwhelming, so I have put together a quick guide to the MLB.com team site offerings below:

10 players you forgot were…

This is a very popular article format on the revamped sites. Each MLB.com beat reporter has listed 10 players you forgot were ever on the team. It’s a little presumptuous: I actually remembered that all these guys were on the Tigers, but maybe I’m just built different. One guy who stars in several lists is Hideo Nomo, who is a player you forgot was on the Tigers, a player you forgot was on the Brewers, a player you forgot was on the Red Sox, a player you forgot was on the Rays, and a player you forgot was on the Royals. What do you remember about Hideo Nomo? Your memory, to be honest, sucks. We might also interpret this as a powerful message of solidarity sent from the Major League Baseball blog mines: Hideo Nomo does not require some greedy billionaires to be known. He transcends “team.”

Why are they called the…?

If you have ever woken up in a panic wondering why your favorite baseball team has the name it does, please calm down and go to an MLB.com team site now to find the answer. Here is the lede of “How and why Mariners got their team name“:

SEATTLE — There’s no big mystery as to why “Mariners” was chosen as the nickname for Seattle’s Major League Baseball team when the franchise began in 1977, given Seattle’s nautical ties and location on the waters of Puget Sound. 

That’s pretty good. An excellent trap. Great question you have about the Mariners. Come, let me explai—aha! You absolute idiot. Why else would they be called the Mariners? There’s no big mystery, you dunce. Close this tab immediately!

Best players at every number

Whenever I read one of these articles, I think, If I were a professional athlete about to sign with a new team, I would simply read this article and pick a number that gave me the best shot to be on the next version of this list. If any future decent Toronto Blue Jays are reading this, here are few you could probably overtake:

61: SS Gift Ngoepe (2018) 
The only player to wear No. 61, Ngoepe played in 13 games with the Blue Jays in 2018.

72: C Beau Taylor (2019) 
Taylor appeared in one game for the Blue Jays, making two plate appearances.

73: RHP Ryan Dull (2019) 
Another member of the “one appearance club,” Dull got into his lone game in 2019 and pitched 1 1/3 innings.

88: INF Rene Gonzales (1991) 
Gonzales spent one season with the Blue Jays in 1991, appearing in 71 games. The infielder hit .195 with a .535 OPS, but did manage to sneak one home run over the wall with Toronto.

10 biggest trades in team history

Another project most of the writers have been tasked with is rounding up the “10 biggest trades” in team history. “The Dodgers have made some of the best, worst and, certainly, biggest trades in baseball history,” begins the Dodgers list, intriguingly. I say most of the writers, because I didn’t see a list of the biggest trades in Tigers history on the Tigers.com homepage. Here is one I put together myself:

1. Miguel Cabrera trade

2. Max Scherzer trade

3. Robbie Ray trade

4. Trying to remember some more trades…

5. Nick Castellanos trade!

6. David Price trade

7. Curtis Granderson trade

8. Austin Jackson trade. He was traded in the middle of a game! 

9. Actually, the Austin Jackson trade is the same thing as the David Price trade. Never mind. 

10. J.D. Martinez trade

Promotional schedules

The MLB.com team site is also helpful for checking the schedule to see who my Detroit Tigers are playing (and DEFEATING) on any given night, and whether there are any interesting upcoming giveaways at the ballpark. Most teams have not posted their 2022 season promotional schedules, but a few have. Phillies fans, arrive early to receive your “Toyota Phillies Player Bobble Figurine” on June 10. Cardinals fans, lots of neat prizes await you:

Celebrate the longstanding Cardinals pitcher & catcher battery with one of four mystery jerseys.

We love the longstanding Cardinals pitcher and catcher battery.

Join us at the ballpark on Saturday, April 30, when we play the Arizona Diamondbacks and host the 17th annual Purina Pooches in the Ballpark event. That day, 25,000 fans, ages 16 and older, will receive a bobblehead of the Cardinals third baseman, thanks to Purina. 

It’s OK if you can’t celebrate the Cardinals third baseman on that date. You’ll have another opportunity:

Now it is time to outfit the kids with the jersey of their favorite third baseman in the league. On Sunday, June 12, 10,000 kids ages 15 and younger entering with a ticket will take home this rare mesh, pullover jersey, featuring the Cardinals third baseman’s nickname.

Whoever that third baseman is, you’d better believe he’ll have a nickname, and he will be your child’s favorite third baseman in the league.

I would tell you about “The Hall of Fame case for Bill Dahlen” and “Orioles’ best players not in Cooperstown,” but I sense you are already getting a little dizzy. Relax, have a seat, take a few deep breaths. Maybe just think of some teams Hideo Nomo played for.