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The world’s greatest deliberative body has yet to pass the kind of sweeping relief package basically all voters, business owners, economists and local officials have been asking for since April. The government also remains at an impasse on the issue of “Has Joe Biden been elected president?”

Somehow, though, our elected officials have found common ground on matters far more open to doubt, such as:

Whereas every member of the 2019–2020 Lakers team played a key role in the record-tying championship, including—

(1) Kostas Antetokounmpo;

and also:

Whereas the City of Los Angeles is now ‘‘Titletown, USA’’ after winning both the 2020 World Series and the 2020 National Basketball Association Championship only 16 days apart 

The full Lakers and Dodgers resolutions, both passed unanimously, are here and here, if you’d like to read them. You cannot read the second stimulus bill the Senate has passed, because it doesn’t exist.

Thank you for your continued support of Defector. Colts-Titans could be good.