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Chris Thompson

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chris.thompson@defector.com

@MadBastardsAll

Today’s Cocktail Is The White Rum Sour

A tasty beverage.

What The Damn Hell

Kawhi Leonard looks bummed.

The Sixers Can’t Get Away With Both Of These Guys Sucking

Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, and Trae Young watch the ball.

Cameron Payne Worked Hard To Arrive At The Point Of Nikola Jokic’s Surrender

Cameron Payne in a Suns jersey, looking happy.

Kevin Durant’s Idiot Bodyguard Rushed The Court To Protect Him From P.J. Tucker

P.J. Tucker warns the moron bodyguard who rushed him on the court during Game 3.

10 Uninterrupted Minutes Of FRAYHAYLAYYYYY, Sure

Jake Fraley leaps to rob a walk-off home run.

Is Lightning A Fraud? Sadly, Yes [Update]

Dinger Beauty Is A Joy Forever

Ronald Acuña Jr. crushes a ball to the moon.

God Help Me, I’ve Been Charmed By Chris Paul

Chris Paul runs past Facundo Campazzo in a playoff game.

Please, Brood X Cicadas, I Beg You, Shut The Fuck Up

A cicada, screaming endlessly.

Kristaps Porzingis Came Up Short

Kristaps Porzingis shoots warmup jumpers prior to the start of Game 7 against the Clippers.

Terrifying New Record Achieved In Humanity’s Quest To Manufacture A Literal Star

The EAST tokamak.

Andre Drummond May Not Have Been The Solution After All

Andre Drummond, in all his glory.

Cardinals Pitcher Carlos Martinez Takes An All-Time Ass-Whupping

A shell-shocked Carlos Martinez hands the ball to manager Mike Shildt after registering just two outs.

More Like Stephen Hamburger

Stephen Strasburg looks bummed as he leaves the field following another injury.

Here Is A Super Incredibly Dumb Post-Game Question, Courtesy Of NBA Insider Chris Haynes

Devin Booker looks at Chris Haynes as Haynes asks his insanely stupid question.

Today’s Cocktail Is The Bloody Crusta

A lovely and delicious Bloody Crusta.

The Knicks Look Like Crud

Julius Randle looks dejected.

The Bucks Didn’t Conquer The Giannis Wall, And Didn’t Have To

MIAMI, FLORIDA - MAY 27: Giannis Antetokounmpo #34 of the Milwaukee Bucks drives to the basket against Jimmy Butler #22 of the Miami Heat during the third quarter in Game Three of the Eastern Conference first-round playoff series at American Airlines Arena on May 27, 2021 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)

Danny Ainge Puts A Foot In His Big Fat Mouth

Boston Celtics general manager Danny Ainge, in happier times.

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