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NHL

Z Is For Zam- … Oh No! It’s Broken!

@BuffaloNick27/Twitter

Gather ’round, children! It is time for the show.

The big men in their skates are done for now. They have fled, zoomed away and hopped onto the regular ground, no longer smooth and fluid, but uncomfortable and clunky. They are taking a break, just like they did earlier. The big men need to sit for just a second so they can feel better so that when they return they will be ready to chase the zoomy puck again.

No, sweetie. Our big men are the ones in Blue and Yellow. Mhm. Sabres. Do you remember what that means? You don’t? Let’s get out the hockey book for a quick refresh. I have it here in my bag.

OK. Here we go:

S is for Sabre, a big ‘ol sword. This is a word you’ll certainly need to know in the future.

T is for Toronto, a city in Canada.

U is for Uppercut, a good punch to use in a fight.

V is for Vancouver! That’s right! Another city in Canada!

W is for Win. What’s that? Well. They’re gonna try. The Sabres are down 2-1 and the third period hasn’t started yet.

X is for penalty shot! M-hm. Because that’s the sign the referee makes! Good memory!

Y is for Yay! Everyone’s favorite letter is almost here!

….

Z is for Zamboni!!!

Heck yeah, here it is! The Zamboni is a magical creature that makes the ice all smooth, so that when the big boys return it will be easy for them to zoom around and not get their little ice skates stuck in a crevasse. What? Oh, a crevasse is like a canyon. Like the crack in the sidewalk.

It is beautiful, you’re right. It was named for Mr. Zamboni, who invented it. His friends called him Frank, and he lived in Utah! Do you see how smooth the ice is behind the Zamboni, like a slug?

There are two people up there because one of them has to drive the Zamboni and the other one won (W! That’s right) a contest to get to ride the Zamboni. Of course, we can enter you.

Uh. Yes, I see it, but don’t worry.

Hmmmm.

Uh oh.

You’re right, buddy. The Zamboni is stuck!

Yeah that is a lot of guys! But they are Blue Guys, so we know they are here to win, right? [high fives]

Hmmm. It is strange that it’s not moving. I don’t know why, I’ve never seen this before.

No, I’m not scared. I’m happy! We get to see the Zamboni for longer. Usually this is but a fleeting moment in your life, a glimpse at beauty and calm, a Zen sand garden for the ice, before the chaos reigns. I’m happy the Zamboni is still here!

[10 minutes later]

I’m running out of facts about the Zamboni, baby. I think it works with hot water? I’m not sure, really. I only know so many facts!

[Five minutes later]

[Sighs] I don’t know what that man is thinking, no. I bet he is happy to be stuck on the Zamboni, though, because otherwise he might have left. He’s got his phone! He’s OK!

[Five long minutes later]

What’s what? Where?

Oh my god! You’re right! It’s ANOTHER ZAMBONI!!!!!!!!!! We are being blessed! The broken Zamboni has brought us an extra Zamboni! I guess they need it to smooth the ice still. The ice hasn’t magically gotten smooth since the Zamboni has been stuck.

Oh wait! Can it be?

This second Zamboni is here to save the day! They are hooking them together!

The second Zamboni is TOWING the first one! See? It’s like they are holding hands!

I KNOW!!! Can you see? Aren’t they beautiful?

LOOK AT THEM GO!!!!!!

I don’t know what Zambonis say! I bet they could say choo choo!

CHOO CHOO!

There they go! Goodbye Zambonis, who are two best friends!

Yay! They did it!!!! Make a Y with your arms for Yay!!!! Good job!!!!

Goodbye Zamboni! Goodbye men scraping the ice! Goodbye exciting second Zamboni! The Sabres will have no choice but to win now!

The Buffalo Sabres lost 4-1 to the Arizona Coyotes.