Even as a weary nation grieves the temporary loss of the annual Festival Of Measurement And Gossip in Indianapolis, there is still NFL football. Not actual NFL football that you can watch, and not even the scouting combine’s usual creepshow, but the stuff that makes NFL football what it is: gossip and conjecture, posturing and power-struggling, front offices struggling with the salary cap like terriers trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube, and, in a novel twist, the periodic trade of ostensibly untradeable quarterbacks.
It’s not quite as entertaining as the actual games, but it’s exactly as dumb and much safer for everyone involved. So when we had blue-chip free agent acquisition and NFL ace Kalyn Kahler on the podcast this week, we had plenty to talk about.
Kalyn knows a lot, and the dual mysteries of Carson Wentz and the ultra-dysfunctional Eagles team he left are compelling enough to keep even Drew and me on topic for at least a little while. But our longstanding dedication to idiocy and entropy won out in the end, despite Kalyn’s best efforts, which meant that we talked not only about Kevin Mather blowing up his career as an MLB executive because he couldn’t resist showing out for a bunch of Rotarians on a Zoom call, but a bunch of things that were even stupider than that.
These topics included but were not limited to such fan favorites as “the weather we’ve been having,” the Chicago Cubs’ ongoing mediocrity gambit, the New York Post‘s general damaged vibe and special commemorative edition celebrating the life and works of John Gotti, and the worst possible way for your team to win a game. Northwestern basketball is touched upon, but only briefly. Drew proposes a basic human right to beat up Mitch McConnell. It’s not the NFL scouting combine, but in these times we must find our idiocies where we can.
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