Perhaps you’ve already seen the new footage, revealing for the first time the sight of a Tesla-brand automobile traveling through a Boring Company-brand tunnel under Las Vegas, the fulfillment of mad mind wizard Elon Musk’s vision of what the future of mass transit is like, or how to solve traffic congestion, or indeed even what the phrases “traffic congestion” and “mass transit” might mean:
I fear this video fails to communicate the sheer excitement, the boundary- and possibility-shattering implications, the innovation, of a single midsize sedan driving along a single-lane roadway at what appears to be like 15 miles per hour. The world has never seen anything like this before! Only a true futurist engineering genius like Elon Musk could dare to ask “What if a residential driveway in like Ashburn, Virginia had rave lighting and a roof and cost a billion dollars and you were supposed to believe that this in any way addressed the problems of urban traffic congestion?” and then bilk a sucker municipality into paying him to make it a reality.
The problem is the lack of a fitting soundtrack, to communicate the drama of this momentous occasion, this titanic leap forward for the very concept of travel. Well, here at Defector, we cannot stand by and allow achievement in the field of science to go uncelebrated! So we have fixed the soundtrack problem. Several times.
Mr. Musk, you’re welcome. God speed.