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Media Meltdowns

Papa John: “That’s Moses Getting Circumcised”

Papa breaking down his struggle.
Screenshot: OAN

John “Papa John” Schnatter has not been the acting Papa of Papa John’s Pizza for quite some time. And yet, the man simply cannot stop talking about his former place of employment, almost always to disastrous effect. The last time Papa John entered the public square to try and demonstrate that an injustice occurred when he was kicked to curb for saying a racial slur on a company conference call, he had nothing to offer but an audio recording of people being horrified by his use of a racial slur. Before that, Papa John tried to earn himself some goodwill by going on OAN and saying that one of his big goals was to “remove this n-word in [sic] my vocabulary.” OK, man!

Today’s edition of Papa John putting a pizza-sized foot in his mouth comes to us from Bloomberg, which sent a reporter and a photographer to profile the papa in his horrible mansion. Papa John said all sorts of crazy things, such as, “This may go all the way up the food chain to the powers that be in the progressive elite left.” But nothing from this Bloomberg story, which really is quite an entertaining read, will stick with me longer than this passage:

The morning after detailing his martyrdom, Schnatter wants to show off his mansion. Clad in a black T-shirt, jeans, and white Pumas, he strolls into the dining room. Leaning on a high-backed chair, he points out the room’s many wonders: the banquet table he says holds 34 people; the chandeliers that once hung in a London bank; the Raphael-inspired frescoes, in which angels, cherubs, and Biblical characters mingle. “That’s Moses getting circumcised,” he says.

Bloomberg

Sorry, wait, there is actually a worse scene contained in this story. I almost forgot about the sculpture of the eagles fucking:

Then we climb the circular staircase up to the foyer, the centerpiece of which is a 16-foot-tall sculpture of two eagles descending from the sky, mating. “It just speaks to me,” he says, gazing up at it. “I think it’s badass.”

Bloomberg

I’m no PR professional, but I have to think that walking a reporter over to a statue that depicts enormous copulating birds of prey and saying, “It just speaks to me,” is nowhere near the top five things someone trying to position themselves as not a freaky weirdo should do. Letting the words “That’s Moses getting circumcised” escape your lips is definitely not in the top 10.

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