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(NOTE: Smart switches, clappers, and lamps plugged into wall sockets that can be controlled using a normal light switch are not included.)

  1. Pull chain
  2. Foot button
  3. Rocker switch on the cord
  4. Push-through switch under the lampshade
  5. That motherfucking rotary switch on the cord that has teeth to rip off your skin
  6. Turn knob on the back of the lamp
  7. Fuck you
  8. Turn knob under the lampshade