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Defector Up All Night

I’m Stripping Brownie The Elf And Taking That Shit All The Way Back For An Easy Six

brownie the elf
Nick Cammett/Diamond Images via Getty Images

The Cleveland Browns made a tweak to their home field this season. There is now a big image of their original logo, Brownie the Elf, painted over the 50-yard line.

Perhaps the Browns are hoping that seeing this fun little guy at all of their home games will cause fans to forget about all the other things the team has been up to this offseason. We’ll see how that goes.

I’m seeing another problem here, which is that Brownie does not know the first thing about ball security. Look at how he’s holding that thing. Terrible technique. I would punch that pigskin right out of his weak little hand, scoop it up on the run, and take it 50 yards to the house. Brownie can try to chase me if he wants, but he’s getting high-stepped and stiff-armed as I make my way into the end zone.

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