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Defector Up All Night

Gerrit Cole, Asked Simple, Straightforward Yes/No Question: [5 Seconds Of Silence] [5 More Seconds Of Stammering] “I Don’t Quite Know How To Answer That”

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 3: Gerrit Cole #45 of the New York Yankees reacts against the Tampa Bay Rays during the fourth inning at Yankee Stadium on June 3, 2021 in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Adam Hunger/Getty Images)
Adam Hunger/Getty Images

Last week, Yankees starter Gerrit Cole was called out by the Twins’ Josh Donaldson for his well-known use of ball gunk. This week, the Yankees are in Minnesota. The Yankees had to know there would be questions about this, and surely sat down with Cole to strategize an answer for whether he’s used the stickiest of the icky, the dreaded Spider Tack. Here’s what all that media coaching came up with:

Um…I don’t [glitches and freezes for five solid seconds] I don’t know…I, I, I don’t know if, uh…I don’t know quite, i don’t quite know how to answer that, to be honest, um …. I mean.

There you have it, folks. No follow-up questions necessary.

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