Skip to contents
Media Meltdowns

Disastrous CBS Halftime Show Provides Just As Much Analysis As Usual

Nate Burleson and Boomer Esiason
Image: CBS

HEY! DID YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ADJUSTMENTS THE BENGALS HAD TO MAKE AT HALFTIME? PERHAPS SOME EXPERIENCED, PROFESSIONAL ANALYSTS COULD TELL YOU ABOUT THE FIRST HALF OF THE AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME AND PREVIEW THE SECOND HALF. WELL, YOU AREN’T GOING TO GET THAT EVER! BUT YOU DEFINITELY WEREN’T GOING TO GET IT TODAY!

CBS’S HALFTIME REPORT WAS COMPLETELY DROWNED OUT BY THE MUSICAL STYLINGS OF WALKER HAYES, WHO PLAYED THE HALFTIME SHOW AT KANSAS CITY’S STADIUM. HE’S THE GUY WHO SINGS THAT APPLEBEE’S SONG. YOU CAN HEAR IT IN THE VIDEO! ALSO, I THINK AT ONE POINT HE SAID “ANDY REID.” I THINK. IT WAS SO LOUD. CAN YOU HEAR ME OVER HIM EVEN NOW? JAMES BROWN HAD TO SCREAM AT PHIL SIMMS TO ASK HIM IF THE BENGALS SHOULD BLITZ. EVENTUALLY HE SETTLED FOR AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE.

THIS WAS THE BEST, MOST INFORMATIVE HALFTIME REPORT I CAN REMEMBER.

Recommended

Football’s Fight Over Analytics Doesn’t Have To Be So Exhausting