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Golf

OK, You Wise-Asses, Who The Fuck Made Bryson DeChambeau Light Himself Up With A Gallery Rope?

A rope's eye view of an approaching Bryson DeChambeau
A simulation of the rope's perspective, probably like three full minutes before the incident.
Alex Goodlett/LIV Golf via Getty Images

LIV Golf had its Chicago Invitational tournament over the weekend. I don’t know who won it and I don’t give a damn! I am here to talk about Bryson DeChambeau getting fucking truck-sticked by a gallery rope on Sunday.

OHHHHHHHHHHH! You got lit up, son!

Here is another angle on the vicious snot-bubbler (by a rope) of one of golf’s most obnoxious dickweeds:

My favorite part—other than, y’know, the full-grown professional athlete getting jacked up by a stationary semi-slack nylon rope the thickness of a pencil—is the little tantrum, during and afterward. The outraged “Oh my God what the fuck guys!” as DeChambeau walks directly into a rope that had been stretched across that patch of grass since before he woke up Sunday morning, and was already there long before he chose a walking vector that intersected it at a 90-degree angle. Yeah, guys! What the fuck! What kind of an asshole does or does not do whatever Bryson DeChambeau thinks somebody else should have done or not done to prevent him from clotheslining himself with a rope he walked toward on purpose? And then the volcanic “Shit!” as he whips the towel out of that other guy’s hand. You blew it, Towel Guy. You fucking blew it.

Wait, here’s another angle.

Oh my God, what the fuck guys. Shit!