Skip to contents

Lauren Theisen

Blog girl.

Connect
lauren@defector.com
@theisen95

Avs Announcer Marc Moser Is A Land Of Contrasts

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Marc Moser

Let’s Try To Make Sense Of That Awful, Hilarious AEW Pyro Screwup

Pro Wrestling
Luis Paez-Pumar
and
Lauren Theisen
AEW Revolution's Exploding Barbed Wire Death Match ended with a whimper of a bang.

So We’re Doing This Islanders Thing Again, Huh?

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Mathew Barzal

Aljamain Sterling’s DQ Title Win Brought Out The Worst Of The UFC

The Fights
Lauren Theisen
Petr Yan of Russia and Aljamain Sterling face off

R.I.P. Tom Wilson The Himbo. Long Live Tom Wilson The Goon.

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Left: Tom Wilson working out. Right: Tom Wilson boarding Brandon Carlo

The Ottawa Senators Have Drop-Kicked Yet Another Adversary Straight Into Hell

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Geoff Ward

Even In Defeat, The Ottawa Senators’ Rampage Continues

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Brady Tkachuk #7 of the Ottawa Senators takes down Artturi Lehkonen #62 of the Montreal Canadiens

Candace Parker Explains Basketball To Shaq

Media Meltdowns
Lauren Theisen
Candace Parker
Keep up with our blogs.

The Flames’ Nerves Have Been Shattered By The Superior Mental Strength Of The Ottawa Senators

NHL
Lauren Theisen
David Rittich of the Calgary Flames allows a goal

The Ottawa Senators Are Ruining Lives

NHL
Lauren Theisen
David Rittch headbutts a wall

The Blues Played The Longest Game Of Keepaway Ever And Lost

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Screenshot of ice during Blues/Kings game from 2/24/21

I’m Hearing That Brady Tkachuk Now Holds A Partial Ownership Stake In The Montreal Canadiens

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Brady Tkachuk

Marc-Andre Fleury Isn’t Going Away That Easily

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Marc-Andre Fleury

Mariners President Kevin Mather Shows Us What A Baseball Executive Really Thinks

MLB
Lauren Theisen
kevin mather

Jacob Markstrom Got Too Antsy For His Own Good

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Jacob Markstrom leaves his net to try and make a save

Jalen Johnson Broke Everybody’s Brains

Death to the NCAA
Lauren Theisen
Jalen Johnson

The Maple Leafs Ate A Whole Plate Of Shit In Front Of Everyone

NHL
Lauren Theisen
Artem Zub #2 of the Ottawa Senators draws a penalty for pulling down Morgan Rielly #44 of the Toronto Maple Leafs

Hunter Dickinson Is Helping Michigan Dominate And Wow His Arms Are So Long

College Basketball
Lauren Theisen
Hunter Dickinson #1 of the Michigan Wolverines defends

Lost And Found In The Batting Cage

Life Lessons
Lauren Theisen
A baseball player is silhouetted as he follows through while practicing in the batting cages

Perhaps Now Is Not The Time To Have A Screaming, Spitting Tantrum During A Basketball Game

College Basketball
Lauren Theisen
Head coach Chris Beard of the Texas Tech Red Raiders