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Watch Ajax Hogtie VVV-Venlo, Strap Them To A Rocket Ship, Launch The Ship Into Outer Space, Load Up Another Rocket With Nukes, And Fly The Second Rocket Into The First, Causing An Explosion Of Gory Radiance The Likes Of Which The Eredivisie Has Never Before Seen

Ajax' Dutch forward Klaas Jan Huntelaar (C) scores the 0-10 goal during the Dutch Eredivisie football match between VVV Venlo and Ajax Amsterdam at De Koel stadium in Venlo, south-eastern Netherlands, on October 24, 2020. - Ajax won 13-0 against VVV Venlo, the biggest victory in the history of the Dutch championship.
Photo by Olaf Kraak/ANP/AFP via Getty Images

Watch this video if you’d like to see how much fun Ajax had on Saturday while beating VVV-Venlo by a scoreline of 13–0.

The only good thing about the lack of fans in stadiums—when broadcasters don’t ruin it with fake crowd noise—is being able to hear the sounds of the pitch. In this instance, that means you can hear and see Ajax’s emotional trajectory especially clearly. The team goes from pumped to be securing a win with goals one and two, to happy but in a respectfully subdued way about ensuring a blowout with goals three through five, to just stupidly giddy about how crazy the scoreline has gotten after goals six through 13.

Ajax manager Erik ten Hag was proud of Ajax’s performance, which set a new record for the most lopsided victory in Eredivisie history. “Compliments to the team,” ten Hag said. “They were hungry—13-0, a very good victory indeed, a new record. VVV has shown this season that they are capable of getting good results, we’ve seen that this season already, but it is our accomplishment. We have forced this ourselves.”

Venlo coach Hans de Koning was disappointed, but made sure to remind everyone that the OBLITERATION was only metaphorical. “I really don’t have much to say. A total off day. We had too much respect for Ajax. We have it made too easy. We have failed. But no one passed away today. It is a match. We have lost. And it is a historic loss, but we need to take it as a man. Head up, chest out.”